Gold Diggers

October 27, 2010

You never know who your friends are, until you can't tell anymore.  That is when the true friends show up.  When I realized I was Power of Attorney for Art, my mind clicked.  Previously, I had no idea there was an Estate, no idea what being a POA involved, no idea how long Art would live, and no idea what it meant to be a caregiver 24/7.   In fact, I had no idea that any of those situations were going to become my reality.  However, I knew one thing, if Art trusted enough to name myself, POA, to his Estate, without telling me, He saw something in me.  Something He trusted.  I took that very seriously. 

There were well-meaning friends. There were mean friends too.  Those are the ones that will "take you and your stuff to the cleaners".   If it doesn't feel right, more than likely, it isn't.   Sorting THAT out, was challenging.

Just before Lorain passed away, She told me Art had a huge problem with His memory.  I wouldn't have known that, because Art was always on task when I was around.  Which is the DECEPTION of DEMENTIA.   Lorain mentioned how uncomfortable she felt at times, because Art would put things in the oddest places and then accuse her of misplacing them.  Art would get very upset to the point, Lorain was frightened and confused by his aggresive temper.  I was shocked.  But I do know, that tidbit of information played a key role when it came to taking action, in Arts' behalf.

Like I mentioned, once I realized I was POA, it was everybody OUT!!!  I needed time to review the Trust, sort out the directions of the Trust, and take steps to organize Arts' affairs.  There were people coming and going, checks were being written to random door salesman, bogus repair jobs, charity organizations, but I am getting ahead of myself......getting rid of the Gold Diggers was a process, and I had to learn how to do that, in the beginning.  People began to think I was the Gold Digger.  That was uncomfortable, for a while.

When you commit to being a 'legal representative' for someone, you must keep very accurate records, even as a caregiver.   I scheduled a doctor's appointment for Art, met the Physican and presented the portions of the 'Trust', for Medical Power of Attorney (Art had really done his homework a few years earlier reorganizing his Estate).   It was at this appointment, I was given full disclosure of Arts' Dementia status.   This is where my husband, Daryl, and I (below) sat down and had a long talk............