Taking a Break

'Pursed lips' and 'smiling eyes'.  Sometimes you just laugh or cry. 

Because of a few family needs, I am taking a short break.  I will have an email site up soon, so you can talk to me about some of the confidential situations you may be having.  Remember, I can only give you my opinion and share my experiences.  Hopefully, you can gleen from my choices, and enjoy this most challenging, precious time with your loved one. 

Hospice of the Valley:  602-530-6900

Info@hov.org

Respite:

With Hospice of the Valley, every 30 days, the caregiver is encouraged to take a five day break.  It may have changed, but regardless, 'taking a break' is ESSENTIAL to the health, well being, and frame of mind of the caregiver.  It is ESSENTIAL.  This may come in many different forms ie, a short trip, rotating caregiving with family members, hiring a part-time caregiver, using the HOV Respite Plan, etc.

Elderly Persons' Lawyer/Alzhiemers Information and Journaling

November 03, 2010

I find it interesting, I started this blog with the same timing of my journals, only, four years later.  Reading through my journals has been so great, so far as helping to recall the sequence of events.  Hopefully, it will help you to make decisions in behalf of your loved one with more confidence. 
I had been overseeing Arts' welfare for about one month 'at this point' (which is a phrase I will use ALOT).  I now needed to contact a lawyer to share and validate my concerns about friends who seemed to be taking advantange of Art.  I'd logged that withdrawals from Arts' bank accounts for $100 and $200.00 were evident.  Art was being indifferent, and wanted His friend (female) to move in.  I was shocked.  Something was amiss.  I had not gone through Arts' belongings at this point, so I was not familiar with His stuff, but things didn't seem right.
The lawyer met with us at Arts' home on a Friday.  She met Art, and asked him personal questions about His history, His wishes for the Estate and myself representing Him.  Art really liked the lawyer and so did I.  I got the lawyers' name from the Alzheimers Association.
The Gold digging continued for the next few weeks.  I would go by Arts' home to check on Him and He would be gone.  The gold diggers' car would be in the front.
The following day, I came by to remind Art that the lawyer was coming.  I asked Art if He had been giving money to the (gold digger)?   Art said, "the money keeps coming in"!   Art was very open about sharing private financial matters with strangers and friends that came to his home.  Thus, folks took advantage of Him, regularly.  In asking the lawyer if there was need for concern, I was told "yes", Art would need His funds to pay for His care, and a felony was being committed against an elderly person.
When the lawyer came by for our Friday appointment, She explained the details of having myself as a partner with Art, in case of emergency or Art needing help with financial decisions, etc.  She advised He put money from His checking into a CD or Savings Account connected with the "Living Trust", so He could still have access to the funds, but in the event He were to die, it would not go into Probate (which takes about six months and require fees to process the probates' conclusion).  I took Art to the Bank and with His consent put my name on all accounts as Successor Trustee, per the assignment in the Living Trust.  This was a weird positon to be in, because here is where the 'rubber meets the road', and YOUR character becomes paramount.

Statistics

November 02, 2010
It is estimated, by the year 2050, 16 million people will be effected by Alzheimers Disease in the United States alone.   It is estimated 70% of those affected with Alzheimers Disease are cared for in the home, with a ball park cost of about $42,000.00 a year, as of 2006.
Caregivers can become clinically drepressed, requiring medical treatment because of  'caregiver burnout'.  Disease and death can result from the emotional and physical strain of caring for someone with Dementia/Alzheimers.  Caregivers have a higher mortality rate, than those they care for, because of the tremendous strain.
I was fortunate enough to have money from Arts' Trust, to pay for all of the expenses, up until the time I chose to contact Hospice of the Valley.  I cannot say enough about Hospice of the Valley.  Were it not for them, myself and my family would have had a more difficult time.  Art was a patient with Hospice of the Valley for two years.  Once a person is a patient with Hospice of the Valley, all 'out of pocket', or insurance costs, cease, because the expense of sustaining life is over.  No more Neurologists, or Specialists.  The consistent monitoring process, in supporting those with the 'Dibility' of Dementia, begins.  Of course, there is expense to the care and comfort of your loved one, along with medications subscribed by the Hospice Physician, but those expenses are absorbed as part of the Hospice care Umbrella.

Michael was a big help to me in 2008

Nothing is FREE.   Anytime someone gets something for FREE, someone else paid for it.  Even still, when the time comes for you to accept help, know there is a cost somewhere, but you still need the help!!!!!   You still need to educate yourself, so you don't feel guilty, rather, you feel empowered to do the best you can, and allow others to do the best they can.  Being an educated caregiver, with the support you MUST have, and the knowledge you NEED, will make ALL the difference in your attitude, health, ability to care for your loved one, AND be an advocate for them.  I don't care if there is money involved or not, whether you get an inheritance or not, whether noone in the family is helping or not, or whether you lose everything, there will come a day when you have to remember how you handled this.  It will haunt if you don't try, and it will eat you up, if you have alot of regret.  Be an educated caregiver, not a complaining, bitter, ignoramus.  Like my Mother taught me, "all things in this life are temporary", even 10-20 years is temporary.   Blessings will come to you, if you are serving in the right attitude.  If you are caregiving at this time, you are in my prayers.   Like all things, there is good and difficult.  This is your season to do this..........

Medication Setup and Little Buffy Boo



Buffy Boo and Shrek

November 01, 2010

At this point, Art is still dispensing His own meds, but I write up a 'medication schedule', and tape it to the cupboard door, so Art can read it.  Art had been writing the dosage on the tops of the lids and I thought that was such a great idea, I continued  to do so.  The refrigerator had very little food in it, so I took Art some soup.  Art would go to the grocery store with His truck and pick up various foods ie, coffee, beer, crackers, eggs, bread, cereal, and dog food (at this point, He was still driving around the neighborhood).  Speaking of dog food, Art had a little doggie named Buffy.  I called her Buffy Boo.  Buffy was Arts' constant companion.  She lives with me today.  She is a finicky poodle.  She is spirited and skidish.  She lives with my dog, Shrek.  He is big and slightly retarded.  Shrek was found in a shed in the desert, nearly dead, so I think He has brain damage.  Consequently, Shrek is a bull in a china closet, and in the beginning would run over poor little Buffy.  Buffy would jump and nip at Shrek and still does if He runs her over, but that doesn't happen much now.  Anyway, I began to take lunch and dinner over to Art, but very often would find the meals untouched, unless I put them in front of Art.   Restless, sleepless nights are becoming more frequent.  David and Michael continue to visit Art after school.  They mow the lawn or sit and watch television with Art for awhile.  Art is now beginning to feel lonely, living alone.  Art still has other folks coming over to visit, but like I said, "if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  At this point, I make a call to an 'Elderly Persons Lawyer'.

Michael and David